When you have been praying for something for a long time, and it just feels like it’s never going to happen, it’s easy to become a tad jaded — even if you don’t mean to.
So it has been with me.
What God has promised me has been reiterated, confirmed, and established within my heart over and over again so that I have had no choice but to continue to place myself at His feet in expectation, repeating His promises and affirmations to Him with faith & trust.
The funny thing is that as time has passed, a little part of me has tried to harden (the shell around the heart that I mentioned), to protect itself from disappointment. Waiting can be an exercise in strength & endurance training, and recently I have discovered that I’ve been limping, so to speak. And that protective shell, thin though it may be, was starting to cause some friction.
And this is where God continues to amaze me. As I have been watching something unfold before my eyes that seems to fit the bill of what I have been praying & waiting for, the limp and the friction have prevented me from actually seeing it as the blessing and answer it is…
Today, as I ripped off a scab that was so irritating I had trouble focusing on reality, I felt a sharp jab of pain that brought me face to face with the potential beauty of this moment.
And would it surprise anyone who knows me to learn that I am undone by it?
Yes, there are tears today.
Partly because I suspect there is still a measure of unworthiness involved that needs to be thrown out.
And a little bit of incredulity since I have had nothing to do with its occurrence.
It’s a gift, plain & simple, and I’m kinda overcome with gratitude.
Years ago, I read a remarkable poem called “Wait” by Russell Kelfer, and I believe it set the tone for what my heart was to be engaged in in the ensuing time.
More than anything, I want to be the first to thank God for His faithfulness. He didn’t have to give me this gift. He already had my love and gratefulness for all He has healed and revised in my life.
This goes far above & beyond what I could have imagined, and I can truly say that I know from experience that His plans for me are good.
I see and recognize His hand, and it is so, so good.
What an awesome thing to be able to proclaim.
He is so good!