Hand in the Water

We Are Never Alone

beautiful scenerySo here I am.

Again.

Between a rock and a hard spot.

No escape.

No negotiating.

My choices are: hard or harder.

I crumble.

…at least this time I know where to turn.

This time I’m not alone.

Unable to foresee the exact outcome of these circumstances is enough to make me melt into a puddle and slip down the drain into oblivion.

As I cry out and ask, “why?” and, “I thought You were doing something here?”, I recall a conversation the week before with one of my closest friends.

As she pulled some teeth to get me to open up, I stated that I was trying desperately to keep my head above water. Her reply was, in essence, “What for? God will be there even under the water. You just have to look for His hand.” Huh.

In other words, stop trying so hard.

I shift my focus to begging for mercy.

For deliverance.

To be pulled onto His lap and comforted.

I let myself cry and feel sorry for myself. I let myself beg the God of the Beginning and the End to hear me and not leave me.

I begged for His hand. “Where is Your Hand? Where is Your Hand?”

He rocked me until I was calm. It took awhile, but I was calm. Then He flooded my mind with songs of deliverance. Songs of hope.

Songs of His faithfulness.

So I sang. And He lifted me above the mess to see His Hand, and I grabbed hold.

Is He God or not?

Yes. Yes He is.

And I am His Beloved.

He formed me in my mother’s womb. He knows when I sit and when I stand.

Hears my every thought and knows every hair on my head.

I hear the birds noisily chattering outside my window and remember that if He cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, how much more does He care for me? They have all they need: food, shelter, color, sun, and wind.

Beauty.

Wake up Sleeping Beauty! Your King has come and not only kissed you, He has died a bloody, gruesome, agonizing death, and 3 days after that darkest of days He arose.

For you.

For me.

He has overcome.

As these revelations seep into my weary heart, I know.

I am not alone.

I pick up The Book and read as James calls us to count it all joy as we face trials and tribulations. Hard stuff. Like this. My God cares for me as a father, a friend, a master, a lover. He loves my heart. He has given me the righteousness of Christ, and the seal of His Holy Spirit.

I do not have to do this alone. I can trust Him. He has been faithful. He has told me He has great things in store. That if I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart because He loves me.

And wants my love and trust in return.

So I say, “O.k., I trust You.

I reread His promises and thank Him for them.

I sing praises to Him, and I feel Him smile.

akianesjesus

 

 

 

 

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