I’m guilty of letting the disappointments and heartache of the past become too familiar.
Maybe you are too.
Its easy enough to let it happen. I mean… when we’ve lived it, breathed it, and experienced it for any length of time it just naturally becomes a way of life. What’s expected.
Recently I pulled out some of the old CD’s that my ex and I had recorded so many years ago, and I’ll tell you this: it was weird to listen to them again.
The influx of memories that crashed through my mind carried many good feelings with them because I used to love to sing on stage.
Loved bringing people into worship.
Singing about hope.
– I’m wired to encourage, and I really got to do that all over the country for a few years (way before social media became my jam!), yet there was another side to those years on the road, as well as the ones before and after.
And its hard to forget.
The past few years have been a training ground for me.
I’ve been relearning what goodness is.
What it feels like.
And how to reprogram my thinking.
When I made the daily decision to plunk down in front of Him every day, God invaded my space by teaching me about who He is and what that means to me on a daily basis.
He has convinced me that He loves me like a really good dad loves his kid.
Like a proud papa who adores his little girl.
As a new husband loves his bride.
He loves me.
It took awhile to grasp it. And then to own it… but it has totally rocked my ever-lovin’ world.
The reprogramming has included His soft whispers of hope for my future, which I confess has been extra difficult for me to wrap my head around.
My life has been full of things that have hurt me, things that stretched me, things that have blindsided me.
And I became accustomed to not expect anything much better than the very simple pleasures like my children’s smiles, their health, a decent job to pay bills and put food on the table, and good friends.
Those are really good things, and I do not take them for granted.
Yet He kept repeating certain scriptures of hope in my time with Him everyday, compounded by confirmations through random sermons, books, emails, quotes, music, and conversations.
I’ve written about many of this over the past few years, and its safe to say that it is well documented that I have struggled.
My most recent posts have been rather jubilant, if I do say so myself, because I have had the privilege of watching God come through with some of His promises for me, and I can hardly stand it.
A very big component of my joy is realizing that I’m not crazy! Which feels really good.
When I sensed Him tell me to start praying and repeating aloud the things He had been promising me, and to do so with some urgency, I was a wee bit afraid that I may have finally toppled my rocker.
But the stuff that started to happen shortly after I obeyed, well, still kinda gives me shivers.
You guys, let’s be honest. We all know there’s a lot of smarmy hocus-pocus garbage that has been tossed around in the name of God over the years. And a chunk of it seems to have padded pockets more than anything.
Here’s the thing though: when you learn to hear God’s voice, and He consistently speaks to you about something, and then pushes the GO button… it pays to listen. In ways that are much more fulfilling than common currency.
He is a faithful God, and when He says something He always follows through. It may not be in our preferred timing, but His is better anyway.
Because He’s just so smart.
Anyway, I want to let you know that I am experiencing some really good things in my life these days, and feel compelled to encourage you to not give up, or to give in to despair if you are in the midst of some really tough stuff.
I am living proof that God is the Master at creating newness, of bringing beauty up out of our ashes, of restoring those things that the locusts have eaten, of redeeming, of healing, of replacing our mourning with joy.
He is the author of all that is good, and it pleases Him to take the yuck and transform it into something amazing.
A year ago He began the process of getting me ready for a new person in my life by allowing me to feel deep loneliness (which, if you recall, really ticked me off).
I eventually allowed myself to start to date, and had no idea what I was doing.
He also began to stir up more inside me regarding the dreams and plans He planted within me for business and for championing women…
Today I am thrilled to be building a relationship with a man that surprises me almost daily with something I am pleased to discover that I like, respect, or admire about him.
It is a good thing, and I am thankful that God laid the foundation for me so I could fully enjoy it.
And these good things only seem to get better.
God is a good God.
And He likes to spread that goodness around, contrary to what many may think.
The hard things in my life are being used to help others… I might have hit someone for telling me that all those years ago, but today I am happy about it.
He doesn’t waste a thing.
Let Him show you.
– love love