Today would have been my 24th wedding anniversary. I remember throwing a 25th for my parents, many moons ago… but I won’t be getting one next year.
I’m not as broken up about it as one might expect. At least not anymore. Its disappointing of course, but when I stop and look at the journey God has walked me through, I am a much different person now than I would have imagined. And I am grateful.
I feel like there is a fresh awakening afoot. The seasons keep changing, literally and figuratively, and I notice that there is an element of elevation in the seasons God takes us through. Elevation as well as depth, if that makes sense. Its hard to describe, but this new season I’m in right now is taking me deeper into His love for me, in ways that completely delight me! And I sense that I am being lifted higher, too, yet I’m not even sure how to convey what I mean by it.
I have known for awhile that I have a strong gift of faith. Of an awareness of things we cannot see, of things at work in other realms that we are not aware of, but are important. That I am able to trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense.
Sound crazy? Yeah, I know.
There is so much evil in this world. So much hatred, injustice, and pain. Such hard, hard things to witness, to wrap our minds around. And where is God in all of it?
He is here. He weeps right along with us. He is angered by the injustice, the heartache, the inexplicable madness. And He will use us to overcome it, if we let Him. Because He has overcome.
He has gifted me with an assurance that what He says, will be. He has convinced me of His faithfulness, His goodness, His abundance, His joy and His unending love.
His giving nature.
He. Always. Comes. Through.
He has changed something within me over the years. And now there’s something new, something fresh, something I haven’t encountered before with Him. I’m excited to watch it unfold…
He told me (sorry, no big voice or anything, just a heart-knowing, – validated by reading, people, and circumstances) that if I grab hold of this moment, that He will elevate me to a different place in the Spirit.
So I’m grabbing.
Its partly terrifying, because I feel so absolutely out of control. Which of course had me scarfing copious amounts of food before bed last night… sigh. Until I had a good cry and laugh. Since when have I ever controlled anything, anyway?
The joy He has been sharing with me is incredible.
The passion He has been infusing me with is palpable.
And the wonder and excitement for the future and what He has in store is unmistakeable.
He is teaching me to thrive in His immense love.
What a trip!
I praise you. I thank you for this season. I thank you for today. I thank you for all the yesterdays. I thank you for the future. You are so good. I wait in anticipation as You unfold it all. Thank you for overcoming evil with Your goodness.
I wait. I learn. And I wait.