Today I am 46 years old.
I find that when I stop and allow myself to process the events of my life, I wind up feeling a tad dazed. Does anyone else feel like that?
This life we live is unpredictable; that goes without saying. Yet, what moves me the most about the events of my life aren’t the losses (anymore), but the gains. Truly.
There was a time that I can remember detesting going through the religious motions of attending church and all the trappings that went with it, and secretly wanting more. I desired something meaningful to me, to wow me with substance.
God promises that if we seek Him with our whole hearts that we will find Him. And I am thoroughly convinced that He is the Author of the circumstances that thrust me into the position of desperately seeking Him.
Because it was either that or be consumed with bitterness and regret.
He has shown Himself to me through His word. He actually gave me the desire to read it, and I found Him there. And I learned that He is good.
I discovered that He is personal. Passionate.
And He wants to make me whole.
He wants ME.
I’m not sure I will ever recover from the awe of Him. Of knowing deep within my bones that I am someone very dear to Him, the King of kings.
I believe now, with my whole heart, that the things I have faced that eventually brought me to my knees also led me to sit on His.
He is worthy of my praise. I cannot even BEGIN to comprehend His majesty.
And yet He adores me, longs for me, just as He created me to long for Him. And there is no weakness in this longing.
There is only strength. Power. LOVE.
So, as I look back on all that has made me who I am today, in all my forty-freaking-six glorious years, I find that I do not wish to change a thing.
Because I would not want to risk missing out on all that I now know, and the person that I have become. Despite the pain and heartbreak, I love who I am now, and am eager to continue to let who He has created me to be unfold.
I am an Overcomer.
And proud of it.
Happy birthday to me.